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Latest news and headlines from : The Onion - URL : www.storiesflow.com/?source=268
  Former Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper announced that he will drop out of the 2020 presidential race in order to pursue a bid for Senate. What doyou think? Read more...
  CLEVELAND—Taking a “wait-and-see” approach before becoming too emotionally invested in this year’s team, cautious Browns fan Murray Fields told reporters Friday...
  Israel decided to prohibit Reps. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) and Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) from visiting Israel due to their support of the BDS movement, although it offered to open the West Bank to Tlaib...
  ATLANTA—Stressing that it was a simple solution to avoid long-term injuries, researchers from Emory Healthcare published a...
  GREENFIELD, MA—Citing the ornate icons adorning the walls and the strange chanting in an unfamiliar language, sources in attendance Friday at the wedding of Dan and Briana Wilcox...
  OKLAHOMA CITY—Fanning out the bills to show off the newly acquired currency, sources confirmed Friday that—hot damn, would you look at that?—here’s 500 smackers. “Hoo-wee! That’s 500 buckaroos ...
  As the Democratic presidential primaries heat up and the party hopes to defeat President Trump in 2020, fierce debate has raged about whether it should stake out more...
  CAMBRIDGE, MA—Tracing its linguistic roots back to a pair of strange little girls whose speech was incomprehensible to everyone else in...
  The Dow Jones Industrial Average had its worst day of the year thus far, dropping 800 points due to geopolitical turmoil and sluggish growth rates. What doyou think? Read more...
  NEW YORK—In response to a leading economic barometer portending woe to come, Wall Street officials expressed concern...
  NEW YORK—The ongoing investigation into the death of Jeffrey Epstein in his cell at the Metropolitan...
  Protests in Hong Kong have ended after two days of activism that shut down flights and grew into a violent police standoff, although Beijing has initiated an aggressive ...
  WESTLAKE VILLAGE, CA—Praising the simplicity of design and luxurious comfort, J.D. Power and Associates released their 2019...
  CHICAGO—Expressing concerns that the restaurant chain had the wrong idea about where their relationship was headed, wing enthusiast...
  PHOENIX—Claiming that even one second of actually thinking about it makes you realize just how nuts the whole thing is, the Society Of American Baseball Research...
  LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND—Speaking candidly with reporters, drummer Pete Best disclosed for the first time Thursday that in addition...
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